Feanor's Journal logo

All out of bubblegum

Filtered: Only entries tagged as Food displayed.
Main feed for this filter: rss icon
Comments feed for this filter: xml
Remove filter


Saturday, December 15, 2012 08:43 PM
Thoughts
 by Fëanor

If I told 14-year-old me that in 20 years he'd sit with a beautiful woman who was his wife and a wonderful child who was his son and eat spicy noodles with peanuts for dinner, I'm not sure which of those things would be more unbelievable to him. Probably the noodles.
Tagged (?): Food (Not), Personal (Not)
Back to Top



Thursday, December 13, 2012 11:12 AM
Cars
 by Fëanor

While driving poppy to work this morning, a white Mercedes Benz with tinted windows pulled out in front of us. I'm already thinking, rather uncharitably, "The person driving this car is probably a jerk." Then I see that the license plate is a personalized one reading "ON QVC," and it is set in a "Mercedes Benz of Beverly Hills" license plate frame. Yeah, that person is definitely a jerk. Also, I nearly choked myself laughing. Did they somehow get the car from QVC? Does QVC sell cars? Or is this a person who often hosts QVC specials? Regardless... wow.

Later on, saw another car with a personalized license plate: "MIN RICE." Does that mean something I don't know or does this person just really love minute rice?
Tagged (?): Automobiles (Not), Food (Not)
Back to Top



Thursday, September 6, 2012 08:48 AM
Honest McDonalds Ads
 by Fëanor

As a follow-up to this post, I present some ideas for new, more honest McDonalds advertising slogans.

McDonalds. What else are you gonna do? Cook?

McDonalds. Can you actually afford anything better? We didn't think so.

What else is here? Sbarros? Ugh. Guess you're going to McDonalds!

Life is naught but soul-crushing emptiness and despair. So what the fuck? Might as well go to McDonalds.
Tagged (?): Advertising (Not), Comedy (Not), Fast food (Not), Food (Not)
Back to Top



Wednesday, September 5, 2012 03:05 PM
(Last updated on Thursday, September 6, 2012 08:49 AM)
Stop, McDonalds. Just Stop.
 by Fëanor

The more recent McDonalds advertising seems to be trying to convince us that it is a hip, cool restaurant where hip, cool, young people come to smile prettily at each other, and to enjoy healthy treats like salads, oatmeal, fruit smoothies, and the like.

Does anybody actually believe this about McDonalds, besides perhaps isolated tribesmen who have never seen or heard about the place before? McDonalds is where you go when you are desperate and you need some greasy garbage that you can stuff down your food hole RIGHT NOW, to reward yourself for being good, punish yourself for being awful, or just because there are literally no other options.

Embrace what you are, McDonalds! Don't try to be something else. You fill an important niche! An important, horrible, desperate niche.

UPDATE: I thought it only right I compose a follow-up post containing some alternative, honest McDonalds ads.
Tagged (?): Advertising (Not), Commercials (Not), Fast food (Not), Food (Not), TV (Not)
Back to Top



Wednesday, March 7, 2012 11:06 AM
Recyclotron
 by Fëanor

Fëanor pours the entire internet into the Recyclotron, and only the best links come out the other end for you to enjoy.

Tagged (?): Animals (Not), Animated GIFs (Not), Art (Not), Avengers (Not), Batman (Not), Books (Not), Captain America (Not), Cartoons (Not), Celebrities (Not), Comedy (Not), Comic books (Not), Craft (Not), Food (Not), Game of Thrones (Not), Iron Man (Not), Links (Not), Mike Mignola (Not), Monty Python (Not), Movies (Not), Muppets (Not), Photography (Not), Politics (Not), Products (Not), Recyclotron (Not), Scooby-Doo (Not), Sherlock Holmes (Not), Simpsons (Not), Song of Ice and Fire (Not), Star Trek (Not), Star Wars (Not), Street Fighter (Not), Thor (Not), Toys (Not), TV (Not), Video (Not)
Back to Top



Monday, February 27, 2012 10:34 AM
Recyclotron
 by Fëanor

Fëanor pours the entire internet into the Recyclotron, and only the best links come out the other end for you to enjoy.

Tagged (?): Animals (Not), Animated GIFs (Not), Art (Not), Celebrities (Not), Comedy (Not), Computers (Not), Craft (Not), Dinosaurs (Not), Food (Not), Links (Not), Mario (Not), Mashups (Not), Movies (Not), Music (Not), Oz (Not), Photography (Not), Products (Not), Recyclotron (Not), Robots (Not), Science (Not), Star Trek (Not), Star Wars (Not), Technology (Not), The Killing (Not), Tolkien (Not), TV (Not), Video (Not), Video games (Not), Zelda (Not)
Back to Top



Thursday, January 5, 2012 05:58 PM
The Adventures of Fat Guy & Son
 by Fëanor

The boy didn't nap hardly at all today, despite my parents' best efforts (they look after him when I work from home), so I resolved to use the age-old tactic of desperate parents everywhere and drive him around for a while to see if that would knock him out. As I was getting us ready to head out (always a lengthy procedure), he caught sight of a bowl of Cheerios that I was keeping in the diaper bag as an emergency snack and made noises and motions to indicate that he wished to consume these immediately. Clearly dinner was going to have to happen before a nap, so I sat him down with the Os and some water while I grabbed myself a salad, baby carrots, and some veggie dip out of the fridge. We each munched on our own stuff in silence for a while until he made noises and motions to indicate he wanted some of my carrots. He has often shown interest in baby carrots for some reason, despite the fact that whenever he puts one in his mouth, he becomes visibly distressed. The same thing happened this time, but he followed up his sour expression with further motions that seemed to indicate he wanted to try what I was doing: dipping the carrots. When I asked him if he wanted some dip, he even agreed by repeating "dip" as best he could in toddler-ese. This was extremely impressive, so I had to comply. Of course, once I put a little dip on a carrot and gave it to him, he just sucked the dip off and handed me the carrot back, indicating that I was to apply more dip forthwith. Being the pushover I am, I did so. After a while this became tiresome and more than a little gross, so I did something even more gross: I scooped out a nice dollop of dip into a bowl, stuck a spoon in it, and handed it to him. After eating a good amount of this, he switched over to using the dip as paint and applied a liberal coating to his platter and water cup. He then noticed that somehow his hands had gotten disgracefully dirty and requested that I clean them immediately. It seemed time to move on at this point, so I finally got us packed up and out.

Our default destination when we take the boy for a (hopefully) sleep-inducing drive is the closest Dunkin' Donuts with a drive thru, so that's where I headed this time. He babbled and burbled his way all the way there, and things were looking grim. Worse still, as I pulled away from the Dunkin' Donuts, I realized that either his sense of smell has become excellent, or I've been to too many drive thrus with him, because he put his hand out and started grunting. I had no choice but to fill the hand with one of the munchkins I'd purchased. A little ways on, the whining began again, and I saw the hand sticking out again in my rear view mirror. Once again I filled the hand.

Thankfully this wasn't repeated. The boy continued burbling for a while, but as I neared home, the backseat, now dark with evening, became suddenly quiet. Hoping against hope, I circled the block a few more times, then carefully pulled into the driveway. When I opened the backdoor, I found him fast asleep and slumped completely sideways, a small chunk of munchkin clutched in his hand, crumbs of munchkin down his coat, and his socks inexplicably torn off and thrown onto the seat beside him.

Young man, I salute you.
Tagged (?): Children (Not), Food (Not), Griffin (Not), Parenthood (Not), Parenting (Not)
Back to Top



Monday, December 19, 2011 12:21 PM
(Last updated on Monday, December 19, 2011 01:49 PM)
Recyclotron
 by Fëanor

Hey, remember when I used to post things like this to this here blog?? Thought I'd try it again, just to see how it goes. Enjoy!

Fëanor pours the entire internet into the Recyclotron, and only the best links come out the other end for you to enjoy.

Tagged (?): Advertising (Not), Aliens (Not), Art (Not), Avengers (Not), Batman (Not), Boardgames (Not), Comedy (Not), Commercials (Not), Craft (Not), Food (Not), Gaming (Not), Holiday (Not), LEGO (Not), Links (Not), Lists (Not), Mashups (Not), Movies (Not), News (Not), Recyclotron (Not), Song of Ice and Fire (Not), Star Wars (Not), Tolkien (Not), Toys (Not), TV (Not), Video (Not), Web comics (Not)
Back to Top



Monday, September 12, 2011 12:26 PM
Recyclotron
 by Fëanor

Fëanor pours the entire internet into the Recyclotron, and only the best links come out the other end for you to enjoy.

Tagged (?): Art (Not), Books (Not), Business (Not), Clothes (Not), Comedy (Not), Comic books (Not), Craft (Not), Doctor Who (Not), Food (Not), Fringe (Not), Ghostbusters (Not), Links (Not), Lists (Not), Lovecraft (Not), Movies (Not), Music (Not), Parenthood (Not), Photography (Not), Recyclotron (Not), Shirts (Not), Space (Not), Star Wars (Not), Tolkien (Not), Toys (Not), TV (Not), Video (Not)
Back to Top



Thursday, June 30, 2011 12:17 PM
(Last updated on Friday, July 1, 2011 02:15 PM)
Recyclotron
 by Fëanor

Fëanor pours the entire internet into the Recyclotron, and only the best links come out the other end for you to enjoy.

Tagged (?): Art (Not), Books (Not), Captain America (Not), Cartoons (Not), Comedy (Not), Comic books (Not), Food (Not), Google (Not), Internet (Not), Links (Not), Masters of the Universe (Not), Monsters (Not), Movies (Not), News (Not), Phineas and Ferb (Not), Recyclotron (Not), Transformers (Not), TV (Not), Twitter (Not), Video games (Not), Web comics (Not), World of Warcraft (Not)
Back to Top




About
Welcome to the blog of Jim Genzano, writer, web developer, husband, father, and enjoyer of things like the internet, movies, music, games, and books. For a more detailed run-down of who I am and what goes on here, read this.

RSS icon  Twitter icon  Facebook icon  Google Plus icon



Advanced Search

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Most Popular Entries

Entry Archive

Tags

RSS Feeds
  • Main feed: RSS icon
  • Comments: RSS icon
  • You can also click any tag to find feeds that include just posts with that tag.


Back Home


© Copyright 2004-2017 Jim Genzano, All Rights Reserved

Like what you see here? Show your gratitude in the form of cold, hard cash, and you could help me make it even better!