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| Saturday, August 25, 2007 06:56 PM |
| A Few Words About the Baconator |
 by Fëanor |
When I first saw a commercial for the new Wendy's sandwich, called the Baconator, I knew that one day - and one day soon, if at all possible - I would eat it.
Today was that day.
Why did I want the Baconator so badly? Well, for one thing, it's called the Baconator. I mean, c'mon. For another thing, if you don't know, the burger consists of two thick beef patties, each with a slice of cheese on it, topped by six slices of bacon, which in turn are topped by a generous helping of ketchup and mayonnaise. That's, like, the perfect burger!
When I'd gotten about halfway through my Baconator, I was busy deciding that it was the best fast food burger ever made, and planning a hymn in praise of it. About three quarters of the way through, I was wondering how there could be this much beef and bacon in the world, and how could this burger just keep on going? I was also deciding that I wouldn't be having another one for at least a year, because I could feel it destroying my insides while I was eating it. As I was finishing it, I was wondering if I would even survive my first Baconator, let alone ever eat another one.
But it's been a number of hours since then, and I'm still alive. And it was a tasty burger. But I submit, my friends, that perhaps we have gone too far.
And speaking of going too far and excesses of that sort, when I was getting my medium-sized combo meal, I was stunned, as usual, by the incredibly large size of my medium-sized soda.
Note, however, that I did in fact drink the entire soda, and eat the entire burger.
Take from this cautionary tale whatever moral you can. |
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