| Votes |
Quote |
| 9 | Kent Brockman: Scott, things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for Philosophy majors - useful people are starting to feel the pinch.
[Contributed by Chris Heckman] |
|
| 4 | Grampa: Morning, love muffin.
Amber: Who are you?
Grampa: I'm your new husband, and that was a wedding night I'll never forget.
Amber: Oh, no! We didn't.
Grampa: We almost didn't, but you wouldn't take I can't for an answer. Wanna give honest Abe another term in the Oval Office?"
Amber: No!
Grampa: Oh, thank God.
[Contributed by Dan Vogel] |
|
| 3 | Bart: I used to be a great drummer, and now I'm nothing...[sobbing] just like Phil Collins.
[Contributed by Todd Young] |
|
| 3 | JIMBO: Hey, you're that drunken posse. Wow! Can I join ya?
HOMER: I don't know, can you swing a sack of doorknobs?
JIMBO: Can I!
HOMER: You're in. Here's the sack.
MOE: But you gotta supply your own doorknobs.
[Contributed by Greg Ceneviva] |
|
| 2 | [Dr. Nick Riviera in front of the malpractice committee]
CHAIRMAN: Dr. Nick, this malpractice committee has received a few complaints against you. [reads from clipboard] Of the 160 gravest charges, the most troubling are performing major
operations with a knife and fork from a seafood restaurant.
DR. NICK: But I cleaned them with my napkin.
CHAIRMAN: Misuse of the cadavers.
DR. NICK: I get here earlier when I drive in the carpool lane.
[Contributed by Greg Ceneviva] |
|
| 1 | Homer: You're Darryl Strawberry.
Darryl: Yes?
Homer: You play right field.
Darryl: Yes?
Homer: I play right field, too.
Darryl: So?
Homer: Well, are you better than me?
Darryl: Well, I never met you... but... Yes.
[Contributed by Kaki] |
|
| 1 | Homer Simpson [holding a gun]: Wow...I feel so powerful...like God must feel, when he's holding a gun.
[Contributed by Todd Young] |
|
| 0 | [Jimbo blows on the ice cream glass and writes "BITE ME"]
Dolph: Hah! Some ice cream guy's going to see that, and it'll blow his mind.
Bart: Let me try.
[breathes on the glass, but no condensation forms]
Jimbo: Way to breathe, no-breath.
[Contributed by Kaki] |
|
| 0 | Redneck: Let's fight.
Other Redneck: Them's fightin' words.
[Contributed by Todd Young] |
|
